Please Understand
by Dymaxion Chronofile
Summary: IV would keep kicking himself until the feelings went away. In the meantime, the best he could do was push III away, instead. (commission for suritea on Tumblr)


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>p style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.6000003814697px;""Brother!" III called through the house, wandering in the hallway where all of their rooms were situated. Knowing V would, unfortunately, be out of the house, it could only be IV. He groaned br /He didn't groan because it was III, though he tried to make it seem that way on an hourly basis. He didn't groan because he couldn't be bothered to talk to anyone, yet that was still part of the reason. The reason was so incredibly simple; IV was embarrassed. He harboured embarrassing thoughts and feelings for /br /He couldn't face his brother because it would send dumb flutters to his stomach. Whenever he felt this, heat would rise to his cheeks. He knew all too wrong how wrong this was. Realisation would hit and, before the conversation could last for too long, he shoved III away and stormed off, or kicked him out if he was in his room. Pushing III away was a terrible idea. He was aware, but he was hyperaware of what it would do if his thoughts ever became /br /This was a form of protection for everyone, regardless of whether or not they realised this. For once, IV wasn't being selfish, despite it seeming so selfish. It was much better than the truth. One day, III may forgive him, if IV ever told him about this years and years into the /br /"Brother!" III tried again, and there was still no response. IV wasn't going to reply. He didn't want III anywhere near him until the thoughts /br /IV hoped he would have given up. III would have to give up one day, right? After enough pushing and pushing... Footsteps echoed through the hallway, and IV sighed, relieved. He was safe for now, it seemed. That lasted until his bedroom door opened, and there III was. He gave his older brother a sheepish smile. Dear Lord, /br /"There you are," III said. IV groaned again, burying his face in a /"Go 'way," he mumbled into the pillow, making a grab for one of the other ones on his bed. If III didn't leave, he would receive a face full of pillows and feathers. Whatever. III needed to /"Well," III started, glancing down at his hands for a moment before looking back at IV. "I was hoping we could spend time together, since it's only us." He stared at IV, silently wishing for a yes. IV didn't know why he bothered when he knew he would only receive rejection and a /"No means no, for fuck's sake!" Since III didn't leave, he did receive the lovely gift of a pillow to the face. IV looked up long enough to notice the hurt look in his little brother's face before he walked out. He looked almost at the brink of /br /IV felt like crap for it. There was no way to do this without hurting him, but it was so much better this way. IV knew that. Every time he needed to do this, he felt his heart crush more and more. He justified his rudeness with pathetic excuses such as 'It's for his own good' and 'I'm protecting him from me'. They were all silly rationalisations, but he felt like he needed to excuse himself in the hopes it would alleviate the ache in his heart. Perhaps someday he could tell III about it. That day, if it ever came, would certainly be years after his feelings had /br /He kept ignoring III, despite nagging from V. He had to listen to V tell him over and over again the importance of family. He sneered every time. If IV didn't know that, did V really think that IV would have been avoiding III? Stupid. Despite III almost begging him to talk to him, he still flatly refused. IV was tempted once to yell it at him in hopes he would understand, but he wouldn't. No one in his family would understand. In fact, there was only one person in the world who would understand /br /Unfortunately for IV, III had still not given up. He showed absolutely no signs of giving up. Every day, he would try to talk to IV. He tried everything from bringing tea – "Piss water," IV would groan before pouring out of the window – to bringing pizza rolls – "Cool, thanks," IV would say, grabbing the plate before pushing III out of the door. III would not let himself be discouraged by IV's demeanour. Then again, as IV was so cruel, it would have to be a deemmean/emour. III frowned at his own /br /He walked up to IV's door and raised his hand to knock, before realising IV was on the phone. He would wait until IV was done on the phone. He didn't really want to hover, but he just wanted to check if IV would be done soon. III could just listen to a sentence or two before waiting in the living /br /"Fuck! No, not that one," IV pulled a face close to one would pull if they chugged coffee granules. "Yes, the little one. III. If I wanted a tall piece of shit, I'd fish out one of my shits from the toilet." He laughed at his own /br /Standards? Standards of what, exactly? What was he talking about? They were talking about favourite siblings, maybe. That's the only way it would make sense. III wanted to leave him, but he was interested. He would feel guilty once the call was over, but his curiosity had, for the moment, overtaken his guilt. Plus, if they were discussing favourite siblings, it would be nice to hear IV say nice things about him. He pressed his ear to the door, listening carefully to the call. He wondered who he was calling, but he supposed that didn't /br /"Are you judging me? Tch, you're one to talk, huh?" IV scoffed. "Pretty sure banging your twin sister is worse than having this dumb..." he made hand gestures, as if trying to find the words to even begin to describe his feelings. "...this emthing/em for your stupid little brother. So shut the fuck up, okay?" He laced his fingers into his hair, tugging the locks lightly. "No I'm—shut up a sec I'm not gonna—God—Ryouga, seriously, shut the fuck up. I'm not gonna say anything. Unlike you, it'll go away without having to stick my fingers somewhere nasty." IV rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'm saying her hole's nasty. And anyway, this isn't about you and your girlfriend. This is about me, you selfish dick." He frowned. "No, it's not emalways/em about me, oh my God. I called to talk about this creepy incest shit, and I honestly feel so attacked right now."br /br /Huh? III froze. Was this why IV was being more distant than usual? IV liked him? No, certainly he had misheard it. But IV went on to talk about III, and he would pause to give short, nervous laughs once in a while, something III only heard when IV talked about people he liked, even when he wasn't naming names. /br /emIII's heart fluttered in his chest as he placed a hand over it, trying to calm it down. His breath caught in his throat as he listened in. No way. He couldn't stop the silly grin that spread on his face as he walked away, keeping his hand on his chest. As he walked, he managed to bump into V, who asked why he seemed this smitten. He made some sort of excuse, before scampering /br /A couple of days later, III would set his plan into motion. He didn't bother to knock when he entered his brother's room. Once the door opened, IV jumped so harshly he had managed to throw his phone against one of the walls. When he noticed III, he turned away to fall onto the floor on his hands and knees, making it seem like he had to scramble for his phone. That was only an excuse; he needed to hide his stupid embarrassment. He felt like a baby, but III simply could not /br /"Brother," III said, dropping down in front of him onto his knees. "I think I understand now."br /br /Before IV could ask anything, III grabbed his face. His heart skipped a beat as he stared into III's bright green eyes, which seemed to shine so beautifully to him. That was so cheesy, but Lord, he didn't care. He couldn't believe how lost he felt in that moment, and from that slightly amused look he was giving IV, III knew how lost he was. He wasn't supposed to be so hopeless; he was supposed to be leading whatever this was going to be. III hesitated, licking his lips nervously as his gaze flicked from IV's eyes to his lips, then back up to his /br /IV did not move; he would allow III his moment of glory, should he choose to take the chance. Maybe it was wishful thinking, hoping III would go for what IV wanted. He placed a hand on one of III's as a sign it would be alright if he wanted to take this somewhere. IV watched his brother's face flush in realisation that this was, in fact, real. Their faces were inches apart, close enough to feel each other's breath on their faces. IV half shut his eyes in anticipation, silently waiting for something to /br /III squeezed his eyes shut and, gathering his courage into one neat pile, he pulled IV's face closer to his own, forcing their lips together. His lips were so much softer than they looked, even though they already looked incredibly soft, IV noted. III pulled away quickly, seeming to want to run. Embarrassment had finally hit him. He did not manage to get too far before IV caught III's lips in his own once /br /This was wrong. They were both thoroughly aware of this, but for just a few moments they allowed themselves not to care. III seemed to relax a little more into the kiss, shuffling closer to IV. The kiss broke again, settling for exchanging short, small, precious kisses. They held hands tightly, fingers locked together. The time between kisses grew longer, before eventually stopping. IV pressed his forehead against III's, who welcomed the gesture with a warm /br /"The fuck was that for, anyway?" IV asked. III shrunk, /"I—well—" he stammered, trying to look for the words. "Y-you kissed me back!  
>You could have pushed me away, you know!" He looked humiliated. In that moment, IV finally knew whybr "You're gross too, huh?" IV scoffed. III took a second before slowly nodding. "Whatever. We should be gross together."br /"Brother?" III asked, blinking in confusion. He wanted IV to say it, though he probably wouldn't say /"Shut up, okay? Just, don't talk."br /br /III stopped talking. IV could sit there on the floor with him, closing his eyes, relaxing into the display of affection. He listened in silence to III's gentle breathing, allowing himself to sink further into his crush. It didn't matter if he felt the same. He pressed another kiss onto III's lips, this time he allowed it to linger. Slow and soft; it was not IV's usual style, but III was sure not to /br /IV should have voiced what was on his mind. He wanted to tell III that he liked him. He wanted to tell him how important he was. He wanted to tell him just how much this meant to him. But he didn't. Then again, III said nothing, either. Feelings did not need to be uttered to know what the other was feeling, but it would certainly be better if they had said it. One day, he was certain they would tell each other how they felt in words, and not simply vague motions. They weren't ready just yet. That was fine. This was wrong, /br /And perhaps, once he could find the words to tell III how he feels, IV would apologise for feeling this way./p 


End file.
